Yikes… the V-word… the other V-word, jejejeee
I remember I first heard THAT word back when I started teaching highschool.
The concept of it felt like my philosophy class when I was the student: DENSE and with little application to everyday life… the mere idea of trying to instill VALUES in teenagers, was, well let’s just say that it felt like a true waste of my time and energy, like trying to cut a tree with my son’s play axe: USELESS…IMPOSSIBLE…plus why cut another tree? why me? there are people well prepared and in charge of that!… which in the realm of values I felt the only responsible were the student’s parents, the school was there to teach…
Thank God, I’ve come this far and have the opportunity to make amends with both philosophy and the V-word: VALUES 🙂
Anyway, enough intro…
this week’s lesson on my MOOC
UWashingtonX: ECFS311x Becoming a Resilient Person: The Science of Stress Management and Promoting Wellbeing
was titled, VALUES CLARIFICATION AND COMMITMENT: CLARIFYING AND DOING WHAT MATTERS MOST IN LIFE
a true mouthful, jejejeeee and earful and mindful experience…WOW
OK, for starters dear Practice Partners, Hi! Teecee, practice partner extraordinaire 🙂 this superb quote to get you in the mood and in the mind frame
“The person who has a why to live, can bear just about anything” Friedrich Nietzsche
OK, breathe it in…a WHY to live! so, it seems that our VALUES are our WHY…
our Values are our chosen life paths, they orient our ongoing patterns of behavior…
Being the person you want to be is to live according to your values…
However, it seems that the concepts of VALUE and GOAL are sometimes confused… this is a little chart I put together to try to explain:
Now, to identify your core values you have to find out what your domains or role are, for example, I’m a MOM, WIFE, HOMEMAKER, TEACHER, TEAMMATE, DAUGHTER, SISTER, FRIEND, BLOGGER…and I am ME, this last one, wow, is the one that always comes in last, BEING ME, and it also reflect the last to get attention and caring… how about you? ideally, we’d be ME first and stem out from there, but this is how we were raised and we need to make some changes and reorganize priorities…
Anyway, from there come the value domains, that is, what values guide your path/ serve as a compass in each domain… DEEP!!!
Studies have offered an exercise The Bull’s Eye Activity where the bull’s-eye is divided into sections representing your domains and each concentric circle is a level of commitment with living according to your value…DEEPER
Let me tell you, this exercise was so emotionally draining, I had to go deep into my soul and then on the way back out find the ideal wording (sorry, I’m a writing teacher and I won’t take sh*t)
now, let me share my answer to the lesson’s closing task (click on the image to open into a good reading size)
As I mentioned in my homework :), my first identified value stopped me in my tracks because it spoke exactly of my most important counter-value behavior. As a MOM, my basic value is to raise healthy children, in all aspects emotional and physical, though the physical part is my main stressor, as you know I don’t exercise therefore, I have not pushed myself to make it part of my children’s lives either and this is not good, being that exercise has a huge role in physical health but will also be reflected in their emotional health… aaaaaahhhhh! so, there I stopped with the soul-searching, core-digging… this discovery was IT for me in my MOM domain…I’ve still got my issues on all the rest of them but his will do for now…
OK, dearest practice partners, looooong update, HUGE topic, don’t you think…and I went to the point…
so, now’s your turn, how about it? are you up for it?
– identify your domains
-write down your value statements for each domain
-locate them on the bull’s eye
-COMMIT to living in synchronicity… value+behavior=growing resilience
xo lovely practice partners,
VALUES VS. GOALS image background and featured image from wfs.org by sierraromeo
RECOMMENDED READS… (1) Positivity by Barbara Frederickson. (2) Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons. (3) Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Life by Martin Seligman. (4) Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Roy Baumeister. (5) Full Catastrophe Living by John Kabat-Zinn.
as soon as I get a chance, I’ll locate these books or PDFs (woohoo) and post the links 🙂
drained or energized? jejejeee