ACT…towards becoming a RESILIENT person, Lesson 2: VALUES

Yikes… the V-word… the other V-word, jejejeee

I remember I first heard THAT word back when I started teaching highschool.

The concept of it felt like my philosophy class when I was the student: DENSE and with little application to everyday life… the mere idea of trying to instill VALUES in teenagers, was, well let’s just say that it felt like a true waste of my time and energy, like trying to cut a tree with my son’s play axe: USELESS…IMPOSSIBLE…plus why cut another tree? why me? there are people well prepared and in charge of that!… which in the realm of values I felt the only responsible were the student’s parents, the school was there to teach…

Thank God, I’ve come this far and have the opportunity to  make amends with both philosophy and the V-word: VALUES🙂

Anyway, enough intro…

this week’s lesson on my MOOC

UWashingtonX: ECFS311x Becoming a Resilient Person: The Science of Stress Management and Promoting Wellbeing

was titled, VALUES CLARIFICATION AND COMMITMENT: CLARIFYING AND DOING WHAT MATTERS MOST IN LIFE

a true mouthful, jejejeeee and earful and mindful experience…WOW

OK, for starters dear Practice Partners, Hi! Teecee, practice partner extraordinaire🙂 this superb quote to get you in the mood and in the mind frame

“The person who has a why to live, can bear just about anything” Friedrich Nietzsche

OK, breathe it in…a WHY to live! so, it seems that our VALUES are our WHY…

our Values are our chosen life paths, they orient our ongoing patterns of behavior…

Being the person you want to be is to live according to your values…

However, it seems that the concepts of VALUE and GOAL are sometimes confused… this is a little chart I put together to try to explain:

mooc lesson 2

Now, to identify your core values you have to find out what your domains or role are, for example, I’m a MOM, WIFE, HOMEMAKER, TEACHER, TEAMMATE, DAUGHTER, SISTER, FRIEND, BLOGGER…and I am ME, this last one, wow, is the one that always comes in last, BEING ME, and it also reflect the last to get attention and caring… how about you? ideally, we’d be ME first and stem out from there, but this is how we were raised and we need to make some changes and reorganize priorities…

Anyway, from there come the value domains, that is, what values guide your path/ serve as a compass in each domain… DEEP!!!

Studies have offered an exercise The Bull’s Eye Activity where the bull’s-eye is divided into sections representing your domains and each concentric circle is a level of commitment with living according to your value…DEEPER

mooc lesson2a

Let me tell you, this exercise was so emotionally draining, I had to go deep into my soul and then on the way back out find the ideal wording (sorry, I’m a writing teacher and I won’t take sh*t)

now, let me share my answer to the lesson’s closing task (click on the image to open into a good reading size)

mooc lesson2b

As I mentioned in my homework🙂, my first identified value stopped me in my tracks because it spoke exactly of my most important counter-value behavior. As a MOM, my basic value is to raise healthy children, in all aspects emotional and physical, though the physical part is my main stressor, as you know I don’t exercise therefore, I have not pushed myself to make it part of my children’s lives either and this is not good, being that exercise has a huge role in physical health but will also be reflected in their emotional health… aaaaaahhhhh! so, there I stopped with the soul-searching, core-digging… this discovery was IT for me in my MOM domain…I’ve still got my issues on all the rest of them but his will do for now…

OK, dearest practice partners, looooong update, HUGE topic, don’t you think…and I went to the point…

so, now’s your turn, how about it? are you up for it?

– identify your domains

-write down your value statements for each domain

-locate them on the bull’s eye

-COMMIT to living in synchronicity… value+behavior=growing resilience

xo lovely practice partners,

btw, links…

VALUES VS. GOALS image background and featured image from wfs.org by sierraromeo

btw2…

RECOMMENDED READS… (1) Positivity by Barbara Frederickson. (2) Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons. (3) Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Life by Martin Seligman. (4) Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Roy Baumeister. (5) Full Catastrophe Living by John Kabat-Zinn.

as soon as I get a chance, I’ll locate these books or PDFs (woohoo) and post the links🙂

drained or energized? jejejeee

 

4 responses to “ACT…towards becoming a RESILIENT person, Lesson 2: VALUES

  1. When I bumped blogging a few levels down on my priorities list I felt some kind of relief and more in control… I have lost several followers but I’m OK, my blog’s OK…🙂 if the topic does become a post I know I will enjoy it! Meanwhile you keep enjoying everything you do because that’s what we are here for, blogging is just one of them… Sending you a huge hug take care and carpe diem my dear friend🙂

  2. I hope I will post about it, too! Blogging hasn’t made the top of the “values” list recently. But I’ve made cookies, watched cartoons, taken my little ones to the park…
    It’s a pretty good life, as imperfect as we are. =+)

  3. Oh, I love listening to Brené Brown, I have heard of this book, I wish it had been in my reading list when I was in highschool with chronic colitis caused by stress and the need to have everything under control… you know, was it Aristotle or Socrates who said, ” the unexamined life is not worth living” (I love this quote, it justifies so many aspects of who I am) however draining it may be:/ I know i mist continue with my value domains which I know will keep me occupied in the mom department for a while having the wife department needing my attention as well… All int the name of bringing resilience into my life… I have to get the gifts of Imperfection and make amends with me and all that surrounds me… vulnerability, another of Brown’s topics, WOW! Mame, thank you for your lovely words, they feed my soul🙂 xo my dear friend… Will you post about the book? I hope you do, I’d love to read about your experience with it🙂

  4. I’m appreciating your posts on resilience. They dovetail with a book I’m reading by Brené Brown called “The Gifts of Imperfection.” She talks about shame resilience and, like you, I’m finding the soul searching deep and draining, but ultimately I believe it is always beneficial to pause for introspection. If we understand ourselves better, we can become more resilient in the future (I hope).
    I VALUE your insights! Thank you for being you. You’re the best at it.

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