“…sweetheart, I may have colon cancer…”
these words, spoken by my dad, have left an important mark in my life…
So let me go back to mid-october, around the day I last posted. My sister and I decided to participate in a Christmas Bazaar where part of the proceeds would benefit the Catholic elementary school where we studied, our childhood Alma Mater if you will. The participation consisted in selling something at a stand we’d set up and decorate, so I gathered up courage and… more courage and dedicated the whole month to putting together a catalogue of original Christmas tags for gifts that could be personalized upon request. This had been a postponed project for some time now. Graphic design is one of my hobbies and something I would love to pursue and see where it can take me… anyway, I managed, much to my surprise, to design 30 mini cards and tags. Just as the night of the event approached my dad called me and in a hurried/ trying to get it out of the way manner gave me the news.
My north was compromised and I remembered we were told in architecture school that there are two norths to consider and specify when drafting and considering sun exposure, shadows, winds and that there’s about a 7 degree difference between the true or geodetic north and the magnetic north… so now I had my two norths: the north signalled by my dad and the north that points to the rest of my life, including my newly launched project.
I felt paralized… what should I do? what is my place in this situation? what is expected of me? and by whom? should I stop everything and sit and wait for more definitive results?
I continued with life as previously scheduled. I decided to tackle what depended on me and my presence: work, children, husband, home, PROJECT Christmas Bazaar; and put my Dad in God’s hands because this is stuff only He can handle.
The Bazaar came and went, with it came a lot of wonderful comissions for personalized designs. This kept me busy till December 17 just in time for my dad to go in for surgery.
The tumor was taken all out, a couple of polyps that had been identfied in his tests were no longer there. After two weeks in the hospital, he was able to leave on December 26. We are still waiting for results of the biopsy and further instructions.
At the same time, a fellow teacher found out her mom had breast cancer. She packed up and went to be by her side. She put her life on pause. Seeing this happen made me feel horrible and second guess my decision to continue with my life and tend to my dad when needed.
I know he appreciates my other responsabilities, specially those being his grandchildren and I am sure that my absence and my presence made little difference in his diagnosis. I tried to shorten the distance by calling him every day and reminding him that he was in my thoughts and prayers. My sister spent much more time with him at the hospital and I thank God for giving her the possibility to be there and focus on him.
This is how most of my days were spent from October 17 (date of my last post) till today…
In between designing, my dad and closing the school semester… I also finally visited my gynecologist after almost 4 years (I know, shame on me) to find that Mrs. Peri M. has officially arrived for her visit, but I’ll leave that for my next post because I want to come back WP neighbors I hope you stop by when you see the little light by the window on.
big hug to all of you, hope you had lovely, peaceful holidays and that the new year is starting off with health, faith and positivity for what’s to come.