BEING 40+… and acknowledging unresolved issues

Yesterday, while listening to a webinar by Dr. Christiane Northrup I heard an extremely interesting piece of info (please bear with my next to inexistent scientific vocabulary knowledge): there’s a moment during perimenopause when the hormone progesterone comes in play with the amygdala and provokes a resurfacing of old, unresolved issues. This re-emergence puts you in a vulnerable, quite inexplicable at first, state of WTF for a while. Emotions and situations, long lost or forgotteng, creep up on you and signal, for the last time, a chance to deal with them. If you/we/I don’t acknowledge, recognize and take advantage of this emotional message, of the writing between the constant  flow of repressed tears and find a resolution, it becomes a permanent part of you/us/I. Yes, you’ve seen how that looks. That’s one of the reasons why we dread menopause: becoming that bitter, moody, negative menopausal witch.

I knew, some virtuos part of me that rarely makes its appearance told me that this extreme and overwhelming emotional state was part of a phase that would lead to some wonderful change. Or maybe it was this huge Santa-is-real wishful thinking… either way, I consciously refused to let it consume me, though my strategy, as I now know, is not the ideal one, given that I wasn’t really dealing with or resolving anything, I was just in my common mind over matter/sweep it under the rug mode.

But, people, the ALERT signal has been turned on for me now that I know that this is my last chance to give it a whack and blast this to smithereens!

Here’s an excerpt of an interview transcript I found of Dr. Northrup where she speaks of, more or less, the same topic I listened to yesterday:

…Here is the big news that I want everyone to know, it is not your raging hormones that are making you irritable. It is, to some extent. It is the fact that those are knocking at the door of the basal forebrain and the amygdala where you have old stored memories of unfinished business, and those come up and hit you between the eyeballs so that you will do something about it. I call perimenopause PMS at large. If you get about 450 opportunities to change your life during your menstrual cycle, so the time just before your period begins, the time that’s typically associated with PMS, is when everything that is not working in your life comes up and hits you between the eyes. If you have the delusion that this is just your hormones, and your life is fine, you are seriously diluted. That’s what we do in this culture, it’s raging hormones. Is it me? Or is it my hormones? You are of a piece. What happens is, if you ignore that, medicate that, pretend that it didn’t exist and you get to perimenopause, then your body, your soul is saying what a minute. We want you to thrive in the second half of your life and the only way you’re going to thrive is, we are going to turn up the heat and make you pay attention. 


but I’m afraid of opening my Pandora’s box…

Any recommendations?! Have you dealt with the contents of YOUR Pandora’s box? Had you heard about this window of opportunity during this time?

I hope it won’t be considered oversharing if I write a bit about the contents of mine…

xo lovely people!

11 responses to “BEING 40+… and acknowledging unresolved issues

  1. “…ask yourself if you have any talents that you haven’t used fully or maybe even expressed at all.” this has resonated with me since I read your comment 🙂 and I have gotten to work on that… you are so right, we need to be in complete communion with ourselves, living at peace with our true self will have its positive effect on our hormonal and emotional well-being! I feel it is now that we finally give ourselves permission to focus on our personal journey inwards to create the life we want for as long as God gives us the chance… Your thoughts have been more than helpful, they’ve reassured me that being mindful of this process is better than just letting it come as it will and hope for the best, I want to be proactive towards this phase, I am infinitely grateful for your openness Karen, big hug

  2. Sorry, it took me a few days to respond — I was out of town with my family last weekend. I’m not sure that I was as wise as you in being proactive about preparing myself for hormonal changes. Like you were writing, there didn’t seem to be an option but to be true to myself during my forties. Everyone is different, but I would say that I’ve been in a process of using talents that I hadn’t developed in my early life during the last 10 years (I’m 51). It hasn’t always been a smooth path, but I feel much better now .
    One approach I would recommend is to ask yourself if you have any talents that haven’t used fully or maybe even expressed at all. There can also be life experiences that your soul is longing for as well. I seemed to need different kinds of experiences than I had ever allowed myself.
    Recently, I read a quote that I liked about using up all of your God-give talents before you die. I think this includes a talent for adventure, romance, connection, art, science, organizing people.
    It seems like our hormones work in concert with our soul to shake us up so that we don’t remain complacent. I’m still refining myself, so it’s not like the journey ends at a certain time in life. Hope these thoughts help!

  3. Pingback: BEING 40+… and caught in the crossfire | ACT. REACT. or just THINK about it!·

  4. Karen, YAY! my dear friend I am infinitely happy for you and for being a little part of your cheery day… so, you did go through the shake-up yourself?! If I may ask, how did you go about facing and overcoming that stage? I want to dive in a little deeper into this topic hoping to be better prepared for my moment… I don’t mean to pry, my dear friend, it is a question that comes from a sincere place of true interest and gratitude… thank you Karen, big hug

  5. Being on the other side of perimenopause, I would say everything in your Christiane Northrup quote is true. I’m rather glad for all the shake-up now. Your blog today cheered me up, because I believe I managed to avoid becoming the bitter old witch and feel pretty good about that.

  6. Kinesiology, will definitely do some research on it 🙂 Yes, I am aware but these repression under which I have kept so many feelings needs to be pried open, I truly want relief… i am so grateful for your understanding and sincere wishes of better days ahead… thank you Safi xxx back at you my dear friend

  7. Yes, i had never heard her talk and now i am a fan!! Oh it sure is coming up and we should strive towards our healthiest ever comadre!!! love, peace and health to you as well my lovely sister-friend xo

  8. This is fascinating stuff, things I rarely want to think about, mind you, but very important to keep in mind. I also heard something similar in another of her talks, and it made me aware of this word and this stage that’s coming up. I love Dr. Christiane Northrup. She is an amazing woman. Thanks for sharing comadre, love and health!

  9. I used to compartmentalise all sorts of parts of my life, believing I was doing myself a favour. The truth is, whatever you do, these are things in you of which you already have some awareness on some level. It can’t harm you if you don’t let it. For more stubborn mindsets, I actually tried kinesiology, not everyone’s cup of tea but totally suited me. Hope this helps xxx

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