BEING 40+…and married to one

You would imagine that being married to a 40+ (41 on march 5th) year old man I’d have a pretty good idea of men’s view on this…BUT I DON’T!

My husband and I have known each other since we were both 15 years young…we’ve been together since we turned 18, that’s…. A LOT!!! in fact, more than half our lives…we’ve been more years together than apart…

We’ve bought diapers for our small cousins, we’ve bought diapers for our nephews, we’ve bought diapers for our children…and pretty soon, we’ll be buying diapers for each other…

And all along, I’ve been the one talking… he is clearly not interested in philosophizing about life or about being 40+

phi·los·o·phiz·ing 
v.intr. 1. To speculate in a philosophical manner.
2. To set forth or express a moralistic, often superficial philosophy.
v.tr. To consider (a matter) from a philosophical standpoint.
However, I do want to ‘document’ what I PERCEIVE and INFER a 40+ man is (from listening to the few things he actually says, from reading between the lines, and from observing him closely)…

A…

40+ hubbyman…

…will not talk about his worries unless he’s already started working on the solution…
…will finally make time to get a check up
…expects to start seeing profit from all his effort and if his efforts have not been enough to give a profit he will get moving as if there was no tomorrow
…expects more of himself, he wants to surpass his father’s legacy
…owns his mistakes, as well as his achievements
…laughs at himself
…wants to ensure a happy life for him and his wife, a life that will mean no burdens on the children and many happy memories for all
…feels strong but not invincible
…says the factory defects (snoring and other manly absurdities) should now be taken as signs of uniqueness and endearing quirks
…finally accepts he has options and gives himself the opportunity to choose play over work
…notices inch by inch how his children are growing and minute by minute he does not spend with them
…finally sent his wife a Valentine’s Day sms saying that he had no idea where he would be if she wasn’t part of his life…

sigh!

What am I missing? surely many more things…
so I’ll keep looking and listening closely but inconspicuously,
I wouldn’t want him to suspect that he’s under surveillance
Hugs people

14 responses to “BEING 40+…and married to one

  1. OMG… I read this and giggled… The paralelism or proportionality: vulnerability is directly proporcional to love… The more he shows his vulnerability the more he loves you… Oops, am I ready for this?! Jajajaaaaa this is certainly food for thought my friend!

  2. You know Stu, you are right, and living with a man and watching him slowly let down his guard means so much, maybe this is when the team part of the work that is marriage really begins🙂 thank you Stu

  3. The good and the bad sister! El tiempo va ayudandote a ver lo bueno y a dejar pasar lo no tan bueno…pick your battles! You are the family I got to choose and I am grateful that you have been with us from way back when…Xoxo

  4. Being a 40+ man I would add: … he stops thinking he can do it all alone, and realises he Needs all the help he can get!😉

  5. Loved this!! Me rei mucho y me hizo pensar. Glad to know i know you both way back when! Xoxo

  6. Thank you Teecee… If he knew He was under surveillance he would not like it one bit:/ though, thank God my discoveries have been all quite inspiring and positive (minus the factory defects), jejejejeee, read you soon my dear friend

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