THINK…about CRISIS: EXISTENTIAL or IDENTITY

Since everything in my life is absolutely perfect and I’m a fatal masochist (NOT/ KIND OF)…I’ve decided to worry about something that has nothing to do with me…

Me/I (which is it? which sounds better?), with my non-existent degree in psychology, have diagnosed two ladies I know with A SEVERE CASE OF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS or is it an IDENTITY CRISIS…

crisis existencial 1

and I’m worried… because they don’t know I’m observing them and much less that I know what they are going through…

I’m worried that they are about to make important decisions at this time during this phase in their lives…decisions that will affect them deeply and for a much longer time than what this CRISIS will last…

I wish I could go up to them and tell them BE PATIENT, give yourself a little TLC, DON’T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, BREATHE!!! I promise that this will pass and you will be a better person when it’s over…

Of course, as with many other situations, WHO NAMED ME THE EXPERT IN THE CASE? (shrugs)

uuuuhhhmmmm EXPERIENCE?!

crisis existencial 2

I remember my delightful CRISIS cocktail with a shot of existential and a twist of identity…delish!

I remember how I was in profound denial of my age…in such denial that I doubted how old/young I was…I know I was in my thirties

Though, when asked, and coincidently it was a time when I was asked that question (and many others) a lot, I always answered: how old do I look? Of course no one ever got it right, in fact, they calculated much less…and I’d play along saying that my daughter was a result of a very precocious early adult life…WHICH OF COURSE WASN’T… I had my daughter at the ripe old age of 27… jajajaaaaa…so looking younger than I was only fed my identity crisis even further…they’d mistake me for a student at the highschool I worked at… CONFUSED, you bet! then, when asked what I had studied at University and why wasn’t I working in that field? why had I SETTLED for teaching? was it that I was no good at architecture? or had I preferred the UNGLAMOROUS life of a wife and mother?

although these questions came from (my highschool students’) sincere hearts in search of answers to life defining questions, I took them personally, feeling very judged and even a failure…second guessing my decisions and life choices…

Then I’d get home and have to put on an apron and clean and cook and give my baby daughter a bath all the while my students were nudging me on messenger eager to tell me about their adventures and all I was missing..it was like I was a teen like them but was punished for life, trapped in an adult world…the identity crisis became an existential one… taking me down a very sad and dark road of self-doubt.

If I had indulged in that mind frame I might have ruined my marriage and my relationship with my daughter, my mom and all who counted on my good senses to take me out of my problems…

I had no money to seek an expert’s help so I can only thank the helping hand from above…I know, that’s so abstract and even unrealistic from most people’s point of view…but that’s what I can say… a bit of mental clarity sent from heaven made me realize the balance was tipped in favor of my family…I would lose everything and gain nothing but regret…

SO, I separated myself from that harmful environment, got some occupational therapy and STOPPED THE EGOCENTRICITY I had fallen into…

EGOCENTRICITY, SELF-PITY, SELF-DOUBT…

This is not all about me…this is my time to give…the time to receive will eventually come

Both ladies that are now the specimens under my IMAGINARY microscope are considering ending their marriages…they feel their husbands are obstacles in their lives… ALTHOUGH THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEY WANT TO TAKE THEIR LIVES,  and still their husbands are impediments…

I DON’T KNOW WHERE I’M GOING BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN MY WAY…

I did once tell one of them that eventhough I knew she wasn’t very religious to consider in those moments when all she wants is solitude, to, for a second, let her guard down and look to heaven for help, for the miraculous moment of mental clarity, where the pieces will reveal in their ideal place… surprisingly, unintentionally, she had done this, lying in fetal position in the corner of her living room floor, breathed in deeply, then let go of the air along with her self-pity, egocentricity and pride, closed her eyes and just barely spoke the word HELP…next thing she knew she felt for a few seconds all this weight lifted from her body, mind and soul… when she finished telling me this I just replied, “would you consider taking this as God’s way of letting you know he will carry the burden with you?” and I left it at that…

EXISTENTIAL/IDENTITY CRISIS…the adult version of those awful growing pains

this too shall pass…

hugs people

btw, click on comics to go to original site

7 responses to “THINK…about CRISIS: EXISTENTIAL or IDENTITY

  1. Pingback: THINK…who you gonna call…? | ACT. REACT. or just THINK about it!·

  2. I think most kids can decide which info they receive is worth applying, so I think putting it in front of them can only be a good thing.

  3. Sure, my friend. It is important for people to start accessing the grace that is released from above, to ease the burdens of life.
    Faith is the key to confidence and to trust. Without faith, it is impossible to recognize the good in the things we see around us.
    Without faith, it is impossible to acknowlege God.
    No wonder it is difficult for some people to be objective or even to be optimistic about life. It takes faith…

  4. absolutely! the thing that I have noticed is that few people read self-help strategies before something like this happens… I hope I’m not doing something wrong, but I have. been giving my highschool students bits of self-help info that they wouldn’t know how to find on their own…🙂

  5. As Tony Robbins once said: we have to see things as they ARE, not worse than they are, or better, but JUST as they ARE. From there, solutions can be considered more clearly.🙂

  6. Teecee, your comment reminded me of a topic for a post I had been thinking of a few weeks back… How do people who are not religious or have any spiritual inclination solve/deal with those ‘unsolvable’ tribulations life throws at us?… we are all under the watchful eye of God but I feel it is important for those who live life without him to know that they are special to him and when they summon him they will feel his presence is a very profound way…🙂

  7. Beautiful post, my dear friend. No amount of self pity can solve certain problems. “All things work together for the good of them that love God”. It takes some degree of mental clarity that comes only from above to recognize the beautiful pieces of life. Without some kind of conciousness or awareness, we may mistake our advantages for disadvantages. God does not see as man sees. I would have assumed that such mental clarity comes from experience, but I have seen certain people broken by the same experiences that made others. I really wish your friends the best. This too shall pass. They’ve got to believe and trust that all things are made beautiful and the beauty will be revealed when they stop looking through ego-centric eyes. They will realise the truth in due time and the truth will set them free.
    I hope we all learn to receive from above and enjoy such inner strengths that neither common sense nor ancient wisdom can provide.
    You inspire me, my friend!🙂

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