REACT… TURNING 40 and chatting with MYSELF (part deux)

OK, so let’s continue so that we can make the deadline…

where did we leave of yesterday? THANK YOU A.R.T. we left of here  X

ME: so we were talking about you giving advice and opinions…You are aware that every time you give advice you become co-responsible for the person’s actions on the matter, right?! are you ready for that? do you see yourself as a mature adult YET?

mary cassatt (1844-1926) » portrait of a little girl, 1878

ALEXANDRA: just by asking the question with so much emphasis on YET it’s obvious that you know the answer…NO, I don’t see myself as an adult, well physically yes, I’m grown up, but emotionally I am a little girl afraid of being left alone FOREVER, that would like to play all day, color in the sunlight, read only happy words, be in my world…my lovely colorful, creative, messy world

A very strong part of me refuses to let go of that girl even though it sometimes makes me suffer specially when it comes to being in charge of adult stuff like house work, paying the bills, running errands, looking all made up and perfect for the part…HOWEVER, when it comes to my children I AM ALL THERE, it’s the rest of it that makes me run the other way, besides with my children I can be a bit of a child, it’s not that difficult for me to see them eye to eye (metaphorically & physically OF COURSE, duh!) 

but as I read in that book I recommended: the season’s of marriage…take advantage of your differences (in terms of a married couple) and make something strong and complete out of everything you have to offer…

I think my husband has come (slowly) to terms with THE LITTLE ME inside THE BIG ME! thank God…

And there is something else, I know: I am never alone, I know I can let go of the really complicated stuff and it’ll fall in God’s hands and he’ll guide me in the correct path to the solution…I can’t remember (que raro!!) when I let go, what exactly happened but it was big and I learned my lesson well and just as I am not alone, neither are my children, they’ve got incredible guardian angels, specially my little boy, he’s been in danger several times- you know, baby stuff that I don’t care to rehash- and a strong energy has made me, with no apparent reason, run to his side and, well, SAVE him from harm…so how can I doubt the presence of God in my life? I can’t, I don’t…

Hey, YOU, I’ve got to leave, today’s my painting class…

we’ll continue our chat later, OK?!

ME: Yes, go, enjoy and give it your all, although I know that you don’t know how to do it any other way…MAKE IT PRETTY!!

4 responses to “REACT… TURNING 40 and chatting with MYSELF (part deux)

  1. Hola Palabras de Reflexión, gracias por tomarte el tiempo de dejar un comentario…lo puedes hacer en espanol, soy mexicana pero por algún extrano motivo escribo en inglés…asi que con confianza deja tus ideas en espanol y estate segur@ que yo te responderé…saludos

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