I’ve always been a grateful person. I don’t over do it. I say a very sincere and heartfelt THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I never promise to repay. Nor do I say YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE. I am confident that whatever it is they did or gave me, they did it because they wanted to, felt like it and could do it.
I never expect anyone to bend over backwards for me because, honestly, as much as I may love the person, I don’t know if I would be able to do it for them. Not because I don’t want to (I feel I need to explain myself, because I came out sounding like the worse person ever!) but because I need to be realistic, I always have my hands full, with my time limit exceeded, yeah, in other words I’M NOT ALWAYS AS RELIABLE AS I SHOULD BE…for this I’M SORRY (sincerely).
So when I ask for something it’s something I would TOTALLY do for them, without a doubt, without a hesitation.
But today, (well, everyday, but today I decided to write it in a kind of THANK YOU NOTE) I am sincerely and wholeheartedly grateful to LIFE (if your religious/spiritual, like me, please read: grateful to GOD for giving me what makes up my LIFE).
Since I won’t shout it from the rooftop (I could, but I won’t) this overwhelming feeling of amazement and gratitude had to be eternalized (does this word exist? I’ll check! wuuhuu it does, so let me run after my train of thought…as I was saying). So this is my THANK YOU NOTE:
I am writing this note to you because there’s this list of things that you’ve given me, most of them I didn’t even ask for, I had no idea I wanted or wanted and didn’t have the courage to get them. I thank you for all of them.
I thought I was (with your help, your guiding hand) building a complete, fulfilling life back home. I was happy with my work, you know I love teaching (of course you do, you gave it to me). Teaching was the best outlet for my trapped creativity and you put me in the correct school, because it let me create and experiment always with the students as my priority.
It broke my heart to leave all that. I felt scared of never having it again. I felt lost, where would I turn to to continue being creative and productive. Remember when I rambled on about it that Sunday? And everyday after that, hiding under the covers, not wanting to get out of bed when my family and I came to live to Mexico City.
All the while I heard this little voice telling me EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, He’s not playing with your mind, He’s got plans for you, He’s wouldn’t let you rot in bed, He knows there are 3 people that need you in a healthy state of mind and body!
Those first weeks here, feeling totally alone and useless I clinged, like a sock to a pillowcase just out of the dryer, to a lovely, wonderful book HELEN OF TROY…oh, what a book! What a story! I cried as if I’d lost a friend when I finished reading it. I honestly hugged it for a while, I couldn’t let it go, it had kept me company those gloomy mornings when my children were dealing with a new school.
Then suddenly, looking at my tears falling on the cover (jajajaa am I being too dramatic?!) I noticed HELEN, HELEN..omg I live near a Theatre and Cultural Center called HELÉNICO (helenique, is this an appropriate translation?) aaaaaaa, I wanted to run there, but alas, I was in my pj’s…so I got out of bed, turned on my computer and looked it up, got the number and called. They had a whole catalog of morning courses, perfect for the stay at home mom LIKE MOI!!
THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU!!!
I walked there, at the slowest pace I could without standing still. I took in all the sights and smells of a Mexico City sidewalk.
I got there and they gave me the last place available for the OIL PAINTING COURSE. I almost cried right there. They sent me immediately to the studio, they were having their first class and the teacher was giving out the supplies list.
I never knowingly decided to go for it. It was like it was there for me to do it. I had no idea if my husband would agree to pay for it. I took the list of supplies, wrote my name in the teacher’s log and left promising to be back next week.
YOU DID THIS, right?!
It was so much like an out-of-body experience. I was watching myself make a commitment with something in this city, something that would make me leave the apartment, SOMETHING THAT WOULD CHALLENGE ME AND MY CREATIVITY, but above all FEED MY SOUL!!
Feeling totally devoted and in love with painting something strange happened, again, without conciously making the decision I started looking into writing this blog. Two wonderful ladies, one of them being my sister-friend and fellow blogger (the first lives back home and the second lives in LA) had been hinting that this would be good therapy for the mind. Because I was consumed by silence, not knowing anyone here and spending half the day alone. I needed a venting mechanism.
Again, like an out-of-body experience I picked a theme and tippy-toed my way around all the widgets and gadgets wordpress has to make a blog your own personal project.
YOU DID THIS ALSO! I know it…I wanted to do these things but didn’t know how to. Thought I didn’t have time to make it work. And here it is!
My paintings, well…you know I’ve sold some now. Although that was never my intention, it has helped me buy more supplies.
Surely this isn’t all I’m grateful for, but this is what you’ve given ME, to feel proud of, to feel productive, TO FEEL CREATIVE… and creativity generates more creativity, and that MAKES ME SOOOOOO HAPPY I could shout it from the rooftop but I won’t!
So my dear God, it’s as clear as ever, you’ve got my life in your hands and where ever destiny or You put me and my family we’ll do great, I have absolute faith in that.
THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. Love, Me!