From my apartment I can see three places I’ve visited to nurish my comatosed brain: The Alliance Francaise, to learn French; The Centro Cultural Helenico, to learn oil painting; and the Carrillo-Gil Museum, to write an essay about the emotions brush strokes convey. And I’m just getting started on my cultural experience in this city.
You see, my mom had a dream for me, she wanted me to grow up to become a princess-nerd, not a nerdy princess, but a PRINCESS NERD. That is, a very well-mannered, well-dressed, extremely well-educated lady with lots of money and the world at my feet, these last two give me the royal rank of princess. I don’t know if because of this dream or because I have this innate tendency, I am constantly searching for knowledge, or as I call it- BRAIN FOOD. I don’t know when I’ll use the information I collect but I love knowing that it’s in there.
A very intelligent, well-mannered, well- read man-an Architect-, once questioned my motives for accumulating information. I never thought it was something that could be debated. Why would anyone question my reasons for wanting to be cultured? He asked me, “What are you going to do with that information?” “Are you going to teach a class?” “Are you going to write a book?” “What use are going to give all that you’ve got stored in there?”, he asked as he tapped my half full/half empty head. That really baffled me plus the tapping didn’t help me to find an answer. “Well”, I said, trying to be funny and get out of the uncomfortable situation this had turned into,”I’m going to stand at a corner, I’ll change corners ever two or three days, with a sign that’ll read ASK ME ANYTHING, P L E A S E!!” He didn’t laugh, he just stared at me and said, ”That is a waste of time and a very selfish use of valuable information, you should think about that!” He turned, walked away and left me there… I stood there for a while. He had just toppled over my card castle. I had no idea what foot to use to take my next step, he shook me up, he made me feel insecure about my life dream, yeah because it now was MY DREAM to become a princess nerd. Well, I assured myself, this is something new to investigate and to figure out, no problem! Because I’m so in love with learning that being selfish will not discourage me from doing it. And maybe the PRINCESS part won’t come true, but I can get the brainy-nerd part. With the right attitude I can manage to feel I’ve got the world at my feet.
To me, the accumulation of information has served as reassurance, as an alibi to every thought expressed. I speak of what I know, and who ever I’m having a conversation with can feel at ease that I’m not making things up as I go along, if needed I can cite my sources, if that isn’t being a NERD, then I don’t know what is.
So at every stop I’ve made to grab a little BRAIN FOOD I’ve discovered what I am doing with all I’ve got stored up there: I’m not achieving perfection, çause that’s impossible plus it would eventually become boring, I’M MAKING MYSELF PROUD. Yeah, it’s selfish, it’s for my own benefit, but how many people can really say they are proud of themselves? I CAN. I EMBRACE THE NERD IN ME!!