ACT…being paralyzed by SOMETHING

Yesterday, while doing my daily (honestly: HOURLY…don’t judge me, I’m taking care of that!) PINTEREST rounds I bumped into this:

click to go to original site

It was early in the morning, I had barely gotten a few hours of sleep the night before (oh but I did write IN MY HEAD about three LONG blog posts which I now DO NOT REMEMBER, thanks a million INSOMNIA) so the question did hit me hard…it was like: hey! wake up, it’s Monday and you’re just sitting there PARALYZED, are you just tired or ARE YOU AFRAID of something?

Of course, feeling a bit offended, not only did I not repin (there, we’re even!) but I quickly answered I’M NOT AFRAID, I’m f$%*ing lost!! and I left it at that…

As the day went on the question haunted me…in an intent to analyze this (I called it analysis but it was really AVOIDANCE) I remembered a past post that asked what was your motivation to act, to do, to be… and now the question had been inverted, now the question is WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK? because in my mind I insisted that I wasn’t afraid, that it had to be something else, which is why I left it open for us to fill the space…

And so I did fill the space and fed my AVOIDANCE throughout the whole day

Till now…this morning when I woke up I found this email from one of the blogs I follow…

click to go to original site

You know, there are blogs that stimulate my FRIVOLOUS SIDE (decoration, food and design) and there are others THAT STIMULATE MY BRAIN, QUESTION MY MOTIVES, DIG INTO MY SOUL (I call them the toughies, the HARA-KIRI blogs)…

and I thought -since I am a firm believer in SERENDIPITY (which is, btw, to me ONE OF THE LOVELIEST WORDS together with EMPATHY)- this is no coincidence, I have got to tackle this one… so here I am…and NOW I AM FEELING AFRAID, afraid of what I might find…would someone please hold my hand (feeling a bit vulnerable!…shake it off, shake it off)

here’s a quote from the post…

“We define ourselves in many ways                                                                                                                             and one way is through our fears                                                                                                                             – I’m afraid of heights, or spiders, or flying, or open spaces etc.                                                                    Thing is, you may have been afraid once                                                                                                         but that doesn’t necessarily mean you still are.” 

This struck a chord, because I have defined myself as a SCAREDY CAT although I like to or have always called it PRUDENCE!! (BRAINwash, rinse, repeat!)

OK, so WHAT AM I AFRAID OF THAT IS HOLDING ME BACK FROM GOING FOR THE GOLD?

I am afraid of FAILURE, of BEING WRONG, of feeling I’VE BEEN WASTING MY TIME…and now, as I write this I am recalling something else I read yesterday…

and this…

Failures

Oh my goodness, so FAILURE AND I MUST REACH SOME KIND OF UNDERSTANDING, a middle ground…

you see, I was once called by my teachers MISS PERFECT (why oh why?!) but I eventually saw the harm that label was doing to me and worked on not being ‘perfect’ but REAL…and now I realize that it left a streak of excessive self-criticism that has put me in a place of inactivity due to the fact that I JUST CAN’T PLEASE MYSELF… Oh God!!

and so, since it [FAILURE] is inevitable and it is also a very important step in achieving ones goals and dreams, as well as, in identifying ones true calling or vocation…I THINK I NEED TO EMBRACE FAILURE not as an obstacle but as a call to re-strategize (did I just make this word up?), to rethink my strategy (sounds better)…

and here’s an example

click to go to original site

Yes, I know what you’re thinking: what am I doing reading a blog for YOUNG women? Well, it’s a combination of HARA-KIRI & FRIVOLITY… plus it’s an opportunity to take a peek into the world my daughter is growing in and into…

so anyway, let me quote this young lady that was interviewed…oh btw, she’s only 22

” I had been in performing art schools since I was 11. I knew nothing else, and yet, it just didn’t fit anymore. Even though I was relieved after switching my major, I was also devastated. I felt like a failure. I think we all have building blocks that we define ourselves with, and when you lose one, it throws you off balance. What I’ve learned is that you can rebuild them. When something is not encouraging you anymore, when the joy in your work is gone, you owe it to yourself to make a move. Find the joy again, wherever it may be. Change doesn’t mean failure. It means growth, and most important, bravery.”

aaah! How about that?

on the other hand…

What would you do?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…JAJAJAAAA I would be paralyzed with ANXIETY!

anywho…hope you get a chance to click on over to the blogs I’ve quoted here and every image is linked to its original site…and you know what would make me really happy: if you gave me some feedback…don’t tell me you can’t relate with this! maybe you’ve already had FAILURE in your life taken care of…if that is your case, well then stop on by and give me your best tips!!

big hug people!!

I’ll get working on answering the question…what would I do IF I WASN’T AFRAID OF FAILING?

ENJOY

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28 responses to “ACT…being paralyzed by SOMETHING

  1. Pingback: ACT…so you’re a MULTITASKER… | ACT. REACT. or just THINK about it!·

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    • oops, you think I’ve said too much?! if i stop being open and candid in my blog posts then I’m going to have to get some paid therapy…I don’t think I have that kind of money…thanks for reading my blog

  4. Pingback: REACT…it seems I’m not alone… | ACT. REACT. or just THINK about it!·

  5. Pingback: ACT…I’ve come to a FORK IN THE ROAD | ACT. REACT. or just THINK about it!·

  6. Oh, I can relate alright! Not only do I fear failure, but I also fear change! I’m almost through with my first round of nursing school and in August I will be a card carrying LVN. This thought scares me to death. I’ve been working in reatail since I was 16, it’s all I know, and in a few short months I will have the opportunity not only to change jobs (Finally!), but to start a CAREER. I know this change is good, but it still leaves me quaking in my boots ;)

    • WOW Licensed Vocational Nurse (I had to look it up o_O)! I can tell you, when i finished architecture school i felt so afraid i didn’t even git it a chance, all I had ever done with my time was STUDY- FULL TIME STUDENT so school was the only thing I knew and that’s where i ended up: being a teacher, because school is my safe haven, NOW, i do kind of regret not having looked for a job in Aechitecture, although TEACHING TURNED OUT TO BE MY CALLING…I hope in the future i can get a masters degree and aspire to a teaching post in my ALMA MATER…and, if i may quote one of the quotes from my post: CHANGE IS NOT FAILURE…it shows you are brave! so just take it slowly, don’t have any emotional expectations, it’s like trying a new dish: be open to be surprised! all the luck and keep me posted

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